I feel that with my posts about religion and supporting the troops this blog could very well turn republican (EEEEEEK!), but I am willing to risk it today.
It is Memorial Day weekend, a time to get out your BBQ and dust off the pool toys. Unless you live in my town, then it is the day to dress warmly and pull out the old umbrella once again. But whatever you are doing this wonderful weekend, I hope that we each acknowledge, in our own way, the sacrifices given for all that we have. If our forefathers never sacrificed for that original fight (read the American Revolution) things would be drastically different. If the Civil War never happened who knows where we might have ended up. And so on and so forth, you get the picture.
Don't misread this, I don't support war as an option in the grand scheme of things, but the scientist in me- the one that has studied human evolution and behavior- recognizes that violence and war are a part of human existence. And until we are able to exist in a manner that cherishes all beings (plants, animals, rocks, the earth, and each other) war is an inevitable side effect of existence in my mind, and I truly appreciate those who have sacrificed so much for so many.
I went to a Memorial Day service at a local cemetery today- it happened to be at one of my favorite cemeteries, when I lived closer to it I use to walk there regularly because I found it comforting; yes I am weird, get over it- and it nearly broke my heart. Those that sacrificed were there to honor the fallen, but very few of the general public had shown up. There were so many war veterans and so few of those they sacrificed for I wanted to cry. There was actually a WWII veteran and despite being very old, stooped over, and walking with a cane, he rose and saluted the flag and the fallen men when the time came. The very few younger people that showed up didn't even place a hand over their heart.
So I guess my message is this, one day, in the not to distant future, we will be the older generation. We will soon be the ones that (hopefully) made the sacrifices that allowed future generations the luxuries we now enjoy. When that time comes, I sure hope the younger folks are respectful and appreciative enough to recognize it and pay tribute to it. And the best way to ensure that happens is to start doing it ourselves.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Sunday, May 29, 2011
To Be Rude Or To Be Sacrilegious...Decisions, Decisions...
Perhaps a little background would better set the stage of understanding for this entry so here it goes...
I was raised nondenominational-ish/christinan-ish/eclectic. I went to Sunday School for less than a year and haven't really stepped foot in a church since- unless you count touring the cathedrals of Italy. For the last few years I found myself tending more toward being an agnostic than anything else. I am sure there is something out there, and I am sure it is bigger than me, but I have a very hard time with the whole concept of God. I am a person who adores science and the whole process involved in explaining life's mysteries, the idea that there is some guy on a cloud above me looking down at me as I write this blog and eat my sinfully delicious key lime pie is a little hard for me to get behind. I used to get it, not to long ago I was at ease with the concept, but now...not so much. So in response to this lack of faith (can't really call it a crisis since there isn't really anything there) I decided to begin searching for a spiritual experience...and since I am horribly lazy as soon as the novelty wears off of any experience, I am searching in structured communities that focus on this kind of thing, from here on out I will call them religions.
My first step out onto this rather unsteady limb was with the local Universalist Unitarian church. It wasn't a bad experience at all, the people were very nice and friendly. They were all very careful to allow each member full religious freedom and incorporate everyone's beliefs. But because of this desire to incorporate all of it, I felt it akin to herding cats...or what I like to call a family reunion. I have grown up in a family where religion is not a common thread. With one Born Again Christian, one Mormon, a couple spiritualists, a pagan, one Jewish individual, and god (small pun intended) knows what else, my family could practically teach a class on world religions. Either that or be the starting line of a really bad joke ;-)
So upon realizing that I needed a bit more structure than the UU church I took up the quest once again, which brought me to the episcopal church. I specifically chose this one even though it was 2 hours away from my home, because it is absolutely beautiful. The cathedral has large stained glass windows and an alter that is truly breathtaking. I am a person who likes aesthetically pleasing environments, so the 2 hour drive was worth it...then again, when I am eating Top Ramen next week because all my money went to gas I might feel differently.
But I digress, today I went to my first episcopalian Sunday Eucharist. I arrived with plenty of time to spare- I didn't want my first impression to be the late girl who opened the massive and squeaky cathedral doors exactly during the wrong moment. I poked around the church grounds- beautiful, built in 1906- and talked to a couple of people. 15 minutes before the service started I took my seat. Now usually I am a back of the room kind of person, just in case I want to leave I can do so quietly. But this time I thought, "RP, you need to shake it up, don't be scared, get in there." So off I marched to the 11th or 12th row of pews (out of about 60 or 70) and pluncked my solo rear right at the edge toward the center aisle that headed straight for the alter (this is important so remember it for later).
I watch as people file in. Most of them are older, and I have to wonder, what will happen to churches (and religions as a whole) if the younger generations no longer attend church...? Anyway, I see each person bow to the alter (perhaps it was the cross on the alter, I am not sure) before moving into a row to take their seats (and each time they pass the alter). It is not a moment later when I notice that everyone has this handy dandy white booklet and I do not. Uh oh. Never good. So I try to nonchalantly look around to see where I can get one. Of course it is all the way back at the entrance. Great. I then spend about 2 minutes contemplating whether I should bow to the alter (cross?) when I get up before I turn my back to it and walk to the entrance. I have a brief image of the agnostic, new girl bursting into flames for she had bowed to the alter when she in fact didn't really see the relevance. Then again, if I didn't bow before I turned toward the entrance maybe the members would stone me. I finally decided to get up and bend my knees in such a way that could be interpreted as either bowing or my knees giving out. I figured that way I would be safe either way.
With my little white booklet in hand- which by the way is awesome, it laid out the entire service, moment by moment, so I didn't feel like a total idiot and remain seated when we should stand or stand when we should kneel- the service began. Let me say this, regardless of which path I may choose, the music and ceremony of the service is enough to make me want to go back again. It was truly amazing. The chior, the sermons, everything.
Now for the juicy part. Just before the service ended the attendees took communion. Which for the agnostic, germaphobic, new girl came out of nowhere. So the (ushers?) came down the center aisle and began dismissing one row at a time through the center aisle to go down to the alter, kneel, have communion, and then return back to their seats down the side aisles. You remember where I chose to sit, right? At the very edge toward that darn center aisle. I knew I should have sat in the back.
So I watch as the ushers get closer and closer to my row. I look around for clues as to what I should do. I felt it might be sacrilegious to take communion when I wasn't a member of this church or any other, had never been baptized, and wasn't even sure I believed in all this. Then again, if I didn't I thought it might be seen as rude and disrespectful if I stayed put. Now, let me interject here, I have only been to one other service where communion was part of the service. I was with a catholic friend, he was a member of the church, and the communion was optional- i.e. not everyone went down to receive it. Today was nothing like that, everyone went down and took communion, there was no way I could blend in with the crowd if I chose to remain put.
Next thing I knew the usher was at my side, indicating for me to lead my row down that darn center aisle to the alter. I decide to step out, allow everyone to go down the aisle and then take my seat again. It is definitely noticed that I didn't not participate. I don't think there was any disapproval, but I am sure there were some "What is up with the weird new girl" stares.
After the service ends and we are dismissed, there just happens to be a new comer meet and greet. So I pop my head in and meet the cutest older lady (shout out to Mona!) who, when she suggested I put my purse on the table beside me while I write my name card said, "Well, you probably shouldn't leave it there, lets be practical" and gave a little chuckle. BTW, Mona, if you are reading this, I think you are so adorable I could just take you home. I then proceed to meet the most extroverted introvert I have ever come across and a member of the church (is the appropriate term, clergy? She was holding up what appeared to be an important book and was followed around with a large cross during parts of the service, so I am pretty sure she was a priest or something along those lines) who popped in random conversation starters when there was already a conversation going on that had nothing to do with what she said.
So here I am lugging around my extremely heavy purse (I carry a large steel water bottle around with me), my long coat, a new comers welcome packet, and lord only knows what else, as the three of us try to carry on a conversation. The gentleman (the extrovert) was obsessed with the Myers Briggs personality test, he classifies everything according to that. It was actually quite impressive, I was tempted to see if he could classify how best to go grocery shopping based on the MBPT but decided against it. And while he was explaining to me that despite his daughters similar MBPT results they had a very different skill set, the woman was interjecting little spinets about her daughter studying biology in Australia... Needless to say, it was very hard trying to carry on two different conversations while trying to turn them into the cohesive discussion the two other individuals perceived it to be.
Oh yeah, the extroverted introvert had one eyebrow hair that was so long it fell in front of his eye and it was all I could do to keep from staring at it instead of into his eyes while he talked. The perfectionist in me really wanted to take a pair of scissors and snip it down to size, along with all the other extraordinarily long eyebrow hairs he had. But I didn't, I just tried to ignore it... Somewhat unsuccessfully, but hey, I tried ;-)
All and all, I really enjoyed the experience. I hope to go back, probably not next week (gas it still crazy expensive) but maybe the week after :-)
Until next time dear readers (all 5 of you)...
I was raised nondenominational-ish/christinan-ish/eclectic. I went to Sunday School for less than a year and haven't really stepped foot in a church since- unless you count touring the cathedrals of Italy. For the last few years I found myself tending more toward being an agnostic than anything else. I am sure there is something out there, and I am sure it is bigger than me, but I have a very hard time with the whole concept of God. I am a person who adores science and the whole process involved in explaining life's mysteries, the idea that there is some guy on a cloud above me looking down at me as I write this blog and eat my sinfully delicious key lime pie is a little hard for me to get behind. I used to get it, not to long ago I was at ease with the concept, but now...not so much. So in response to this lack of faith (can't really call it a crisis since there isn't really anything there) I decided to begin searching for a spiritual experience...and since I am horribly lazy as soon as the novelty wears off of any experience, I am searching in structured communities that focus on this kind of thing, from here on out I will call them religions.
My first step out onto this rather unsteady limb was with the local Universalist Unitarian church. It wasn't a bad experience at all, the people were very nice and friendly. They were all very careful to allow each member full religious freedom and incorporate everyone's beliefs. But because of this desire to incorporate all of it, I felt it akin to herding cats...or what I like to call a family reunion. I have grown up in a family where religion is not a common thread. With one Born Again Christian, one Mormon, a couple spiritualists, a pagan, one Jewish individual, and god (small pun intended) knows what else, my family could practically teach a class on world religions. Either that or be the starting line of a really bad joke ;-)
So upon realizing that I needed a bit more structure than the UU church I took up the quest once again, which brought me to the episcopal church. I specifically chose this one even though it was 2 hours away from my home, because it is absolutely beautiful. The cathedral has large stained glass windows and an alter that is truly breathtaking. I am a person who likes aesthetically pleasing environments, so the 2 hour drive was worth it...then again, when I am eating Top Ramen next week because all my money went to gas I might feel differently.
But I digress, today I went to my first episcopalian Sunday Eucharist. I arrived with plenty of time to spare- I didn't want my first impression to be the late girl who opened the massive and squeaky cathedral doors exactly during the wrong moment. I poked around the church grounds- beautiful, built in 1906- and talked to a couple of people. 15 minutes before the service started I took my seat. Now usually I am a back of the room kind of person, just in case I want to leave I can do so quietly. But this time I thought, "RP, you need to shake it up, don't be scared, get in there." So off I marched to the 11th or 12th row of pews (out of about 60 or 70) and pluncked my solo rear right at the edge toward the center aisle that headed straight for the alter (this is important so remember it for later).
I watch as people file in. Most of them are older, and I have to wonder, what will happen to churches (and religions as a whole) if the younger generations no longer attend church...? Anyway, I see each person bow to the alter (perhaps it was the cross on the alter, I am not sure) before moving into a row to take their seats (and each time they pass the alter). It is not a moment later when I notice that everyone has this handy dandy white booklet and I do not. Uh oh. Never good. So I try to nonchalantly look around to see where I can get one. Of course it is all the way back at the entrance. Great. I then spend about 2 minutes contemplating whether I should bow to the alter (cross?) when I get up before I turn my back to it and walk to the entrance. I have a brief image of the agnostic, new girl bursting into flames for she had bowed to the alter when she in fact didn't really see the relevance. Then again, if I didn't bow before I turned toward the entrance maybe the members would stone me. I finally decided to get up and bend my knees in such a way that could be interpreted as either bowing or my knees giving out. I figured that way I would be safe either way.
With my little white booklet in hand- which by the way is awesome, it laid out the entire service, moment by moment, so I didn't feel like a total idiot and remain seated when we should stand or stand when we should kneel- the service began. Let me say this, regardless of which path I may choose, the music and ceremony of the service is enough to make me want to go back again. It was truly amazing. The chior, the sermons, everything.
Now for the juicy part. Just before the service ended the attendees took communion. Which for the agnostic, germaphobic, new girl came out of nowhere. So the (ushers?) came down the center aisle and began dismissing one row at a time through the center aisle to go down to the alter, kneel, have communion, and then return back to their seats down the side aisles. You remember where I chose to sit, right? At the very edge toward that darn center aisle. I knew I should have sat in the back.
So I watch as the ushers get closer and closer to my row. I look around for clues as to what I should do. I felt it might be sacrilegious to take communion when I wasn't a member of this church or any other, had never been baptized, and wasn't even sure I believed in all this. Then again, if I didn't I thought it might be seen as rude and disrespectful if I stayed put. Now, let me interject here, I have only been to one other service where communion was part of the service. I was with a catholic friend, he was a member of the church, and the communion was optional- i.e. not everyone went down to receive it. Today was nothing like that, everyone went down and took communion, there was no way I could blend in with the crowd if I chose to remain put.
Next thing I knew the usher was at my side, indicating for me to lead my row down that darn center aisle to the alter. I decide to step out, allow everyone to go down the aisle and then take my seat again. It is definitely noticed that I didn't not participate. I don't think there was any disapproval, but I am sure there were some "What is up with the weird new girl" stares.
After the service ends and we are dismissed, there just happens to be a new comer meet and greet. So I pop my head in and meet the cutest older lady (shout out to Mona!) who, when she suggested I put my purse on the table beside me while I write my name card said, "Well, you probably shouldn't leave it there, lets be practical" and gave a little chuckle. BTW, Mona, if you are reading this, I think you are so adorable I could just take you home. I then proceed to meet the most extroverted introvert I have ever come across and a member of the church (is the appropriate term, clergy? She was holding up what appeared to be an important book and was followed around with a large cross during parts of the service, so I am pretty sure she was a priest or something along those lines) who popped in random conversation starters when there was already a conversation going on that had nothing to do with what she said.
So here I am lugging around my extremely heavy purse (I carry a large steel water bottle around with me), my long coat, a new comers welcome packet, and lord only knows what else, as the three of us try to carry on a conversation. The gentleman (the extrovert) was obsessed with the Myers Briggs personality test, he classifies everything according to that. It was actually quite impressive, I was tempted to see if he could classify how best to go grocery shopping based on the MBPT but decided against it. And while he was explaining to me that despite his daughters similar MBPT results they had a very different skill set, the woman was interjecting little spinets about her daughter studying biology in Australia... Needless to say, it was very hard trying to carry on two different conversations while trying to turn them into the cohesive discussion the two other individuals perceived it to be.
Oh yeah, the extroverted introvert had one eyebrow hair that was so long it fell in front of his eye and it was all I could do to keep from staring at it instead of into his eyes while he talked. The perfectionist in me really wanted to take a pair of scissors and snip it down to size, along with all the other extraordinarily long eyebrow hairs he had. But I didn't, I just tried to ignore it... Somewhat unsuccessfully, but hey, I tried ;-)
All and all, I really enjoyed the experience. I hope to go back, probably not next week (gas it still crazy expensive) but maybe the week after :-)
Until next time dear readers (all 5 of you)...
Friday, May 27, 2011
Supporting Causes Without Using A Bumper Sticker
We have all seen them, the cars that have the "Have you hugged a farmer today?" or "I support the troops." I definitely have causes I support, I just don't do so on my car. I mean really, how is a "I love my dairy farmer" declaration on the back of my car going to help out my favorite milk company (shout out to Horizon Milk!)? I always feel (and say) that if you want to make a difference, go out there and make one, don't just talk about it.
Well, I finally decided to stop being a hypocrite. Inspired by a video clip of WWII veterans I decided to adopt my very own soldier (the terminology makes me feel as though I should be running to the pet store for a food bowl and posting pictures of a cute fuzzy face on here). The basic deal is I write a letter each week and send a care package once a month. And never expect to hear back...boy, I hope I am sending non-lame stuff in my care packages...
Why the sudden feeling of patriotic pride you ask? Truthfully it wasn't necessarily patriotism that sparked this new opportunity, rather the knowledge that regardless whether or not I support the decisions made by our government/military, without the individuals who sacrifice so much I wouldn't have the luxuries I do. The least I can do it send a few letters and some Clif Bars.
But despite my new experience I can guarantee that I will not be plastering on a bumper sticker that reads "Have You Hugged A Soldier Today?"
Well, I finally decided to stop being a hypocrite. Inspired by a video clip of WWII veterans I decided to adopt my very own soldier (the terminology makes me feel as though I should be running to the pet store for a food bowl and posting pictures of a cute fuzzy face on here). The basic deal is I write a letter each week and send a care package once a month. And never expect to hear back...boy, I hope I am sending non-lame stuff in my care packages...
Why the sudden feeling of patriotic pride you ask? Truthfully it wasn't necessarily patriotism that sparked this new opportunity, rather the knowledge that regardless whether or not I support the decisions made by our government/military, without the individuals who sacrifice so much I wouldn't have the luxuries I do. The least I can do it send a few letters and some Clif Bars.
But despite my new experience I can guarantee that I will not be plastering on a bumper sticker that reads "Have You Hugged A Soldier Today?"
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
A Watched Pot Sometimes Boils...
Yet again, my new experience came from an unexpected place this week. I lost my temper. I mean, full on screaming, yelling, crazy woman losing my temper. I will not go into the details but the end result was very surprising... I feel better than I have in a long time. All that repressed, pent up crap came raging out of me and now, I can't stop smiling. I feel so free and so light, as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I don't necessarily think what I did was right, but man, it was needed.
I jog 3 miles a day in an attempt to release all this crap, but apparently it wasn't working. I will need to find a more appropriate way to find this same release I feel now. I had no idea how heavy the stuff I had been carrying around had been until it was gone. There really isn't anything like total release of all your anger. My anxiety and concern for every minor detail is gone, replaced by a neutrality that is a refreshing and welcome break.
I jog 3 miles a day in an attempt to release all this crap, but apparently it wasn't working. I will need to find a more appropriate way to find this same release I feel now. I had no idea how heavy the stuff I had been carrying around had been until it was gone. There really isn't anything like total release of all your anger. My anxiety and concern for every minor detail is gone, replaced by a neutrality that is a refreshing and welcome break.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Giving Back
This week, my new thing is meeting with a mentoring program. I originally submitted my application to volunteer with the program with the intention of working with youth, however, they have a big need for adult-to-adult mentors so that is where I will be helping out.
I am a little nervous, I explained that I didn't want to mentor anyone older than me (25) because I know that if some 16 year old tried to mentor me I wouldn't be to thrilled about it. I will meet with my mentee (is that a word?) for two hours every other week. Basically it just involves us meeting for a cup of coffee (or in my case, tea) and just talking.
I hope I am able to be a positive influence in someone's life. I think it is so important to give back if we are able. I will let you know how my first meeting goes :-)
I am a little nervous, I explained that I didn't want to mentor anyone older than me (25) because I know that if some 16 year old tried to mentor me I wouldn't be to thrilled about it. I will meet with my mentee (is that a word?) for two hours every other week. Basically it just involves us meeting for a cup of coffee (or in my case, tea) and just talking.
I hope I am able to be a positive influence in someone's life. I think it is so important to give back if we are able. I will let you know how my first meeting goes :-)
Oops...
Can my new thing last week be forgetting to do a new thing???? No? Hummm, looks like I am up a creek without a paddle... ;-)
Technically I could use the fact that I found a pair of capris I like to be my new thing (trust me, that is a very rare occurrence) but it feels like cheating, so I wont. I guess I will just chalk that up to a hectic week and march on.
Technically I could use the fact that I found a pair of capris I like to be my new thing (trust me, that is a very rare occurrence) but it feels like cheating, so I wont. I guess I will just chalk that up to a hectic week and march on.
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