You Have To Let Go Of Your Penis

For anyone who has worked with kids, you'll understand when I say, there are some moments when you realize that there is no way the situation you are currently in would happen in any other setting than with kids.

I started my volunteer work in a relief nursery this week. I have missed working with the toddler set and decided to do this a while ago (with training, schedules, etc., it has taken this long to get started). The relief nursery serves at risk kids and because of this, the legal policy of the nursery is there will always be at least 2 adults with any given group of kids, be that a group of 1 or a group of 8. So yesterday one of the little boys had to go to the bathroom and as a volunteer I cannot take him but I did need to accompany the staff member so that I could be the 2nd adult in the area. I was waiting outside in the hall (the bathroom door was open) and the staff member was standing in the doorway with her back turned, facing me. The little boy called her into the bathroom once he is done and asked if she can help pull up his underwear. In response to this and I quote, "Ok, you have to let go of you penis."

That was it. So simple, so matter-of-fact and yet it so perfectly sums up what working with kids really means. There are few places and even fewer circumstances where you would ever hear that phrase uttered so matter-of-factly. It just summed the situation up so perfectly. Maybe I should start making bumper stickers and that will be my slogan... :-)

As a side note, my chemistry professor looks like John Lovett, he even has nearly the same tone of voice. But he is way more animated and talks much more quickly, plus his vocal intonations are completely opposite. But I still find it amusing, and a little hard to concentrate sometimes because all I can think about is how funny it is that John Lovett is teaching me chemistry. Hahahahaha!

iHappy...Wait Maybe iNot...

Well, I did it. This Mac girl finally jumped on the iPad bandwagon and I am blogging from it right now. My new black, sleek, user friendly iPad is my new best friend (sorry A!). This little rectangle that is only a pound or two is replacing 3 of my 4 MASSIVE science textbooks, you know the ones that weight five hundred pounds that you must lift with your legs or you'll throw your back out? Instead of those ungodly books I just download them into this great little box, and stuff it into my purse before walking out the door. And just like hardcopy books I can still highlight and annotate right in the text. Plus I can search the text for specific words, phrases, or annotations!

Better yet, with the apps available I can use this as my notebook. I can take notes that sync up the recordings of my professors,lectures so that when I click on a section of my notes I have the option of playing the portion of the lecture that was recorded while I was taking that particular section of notes. How cool and amazingly useful is that?!

So why is this blog worthy you ask (aside from the fact that it fulfills my new-thing-for-the-week requirement)? Well as it turns out, there might be a slight hitch in my giddyup... I may be returning this great little device (14 day return policy) if I cannot permanently download my textbooks. It appears that some distributors only let you RENT the textbooks for a given amount of time. Which is completely useless to someone who will be studying for the MCAT and need to refer back to old textbooks and notes. I will be calling one of the main distributors tomorrow when they are open to see what's up with that fishy business and will keep you posted.

iPad freak signing off :)

Update: Apparently the iPad does not like to format in Blogger (i.e. this was one large block of sentences) so I had to come back in on the Mac and revise it a bit. So there are limitations. But overall still very happy. Here's hoping rent-a-book is just an option for poor college students and not a requirement for e-textbooks...

A Fever You Say? Good Thing I Know My Calculus, I'll Cure You In No Time...

I was never one for math.  Truthfully, anything I couldn't conceive of as being a direct benefit usually received very little attention from me.  So you better believe when I took all my math in college (nearly a DECADE ago!!!  My god, how did I get this old!!!) I couldn't give two hoots about trigonometry.  What did I care, I was never going to use it again.

Well, consider my ass bit.  I am now looking down the barrel of a very long, dark, and terrifying quarter that involves differential calculus and what I am sure will consequently include large quantities of my hair vacating my head.  As I review trigonometry to prep for my forthcoming calculus course I find myself without the vaguest recollection of what a radian is or why the hell it is even used (among many, many other things).  I mean really, degrees make much more sense.  What self important genius decided it would be fun to stump the greater populous and come up with a completely nonsensical way to measure angles?  I would like to find myself a Delorean, go back in time, and pop him one just on principle.

Besides, at what point am I going to employ calculus or trigonometry while practicing medicine?  The most I can conceive of is using basic algebra to determine dosage amounts.  I can't see radians being pertinent to that in any way...Awesome.  Ah well, I just keep reminding myself that while it wont be helpful in life, it is needed to achieve my goal which is good enough for me!

Until next time!

Paging Fake Dr., Paging Fake Dr., We Need 3cc Of Sanity...STAT!

Ok, you are probably wondering, "RP, you've always been nuts, why are you suddenly looking for sanity now?" And I have to admit, that is a darn good question...one I should ask the team of therapists it will take to put me back together after my next decision.

I, RP, have made the most gut wrenching, terror inducing decision man (or woman) has ever known. Am I starting a family? Marrying my favorite baristo-boy from Starbucks (Hi Joe!) and running away to Columbia to start my own coffee business? Perhaps taking a page out of Blast from the Past and building my very own fallout shelter in my parents basement and locking myself in there for the next 30 years? Nope, well, the last one was close enough, but no, it's scarier. I have decided to aim for med school. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I desire to work with that gelatinous goo filled, puss oozing, fecal matter storing organism we fondly call the human body. Yummy. Nothing says pee-on med student like a 56 hour day filled with rectal exams and foot fungus.

So why am I doing this? Obviously it isn't for the glory, something I never really understood- why are physicians glorified? If the above paragraph didn't get the message across, they have a pretty icky job when you get down to it. Rewarding but icky. Anyway, I digress. I am doing it because it feels right, because I believe in bettering the lives of others in a purposeful way, because I know the value of having a physician that treats you like a complete human being instead of a set of symptoms. I want to work in rural communities that have limited access to good health care. Heaven help me, I probably wont be making enough once I am practicing to actually pay off my massive student loan debts...why can't I be interested in becoming a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills? Ah well. Wish me luck! :-)

Edit: I thought I should clarify, since some of my dear readers (yes, one of the two) believed my decision to go to med school was influenced by my experience of being denied state funded health care (see post below).  I am not sure what the connection is there (I can't really treat myself as a physician...) but I thought I would clarify that I actually began this journey 2 years ago in 2009, but got scared away by the MASSIVE student loans needed to complete med school.

The Lap Of Luxury...And Some Sap To Go With It

Time to play which one sucks most! Are you ready?

Question: What sucks most?
a) Learning that you no longer qualify for state funded health care because you make a lavish $900 a month at your part time job that doesn't even have enough money in the bank to pay you at the end of the month...no really, they asked us to hold our paychecks for a couple weeks...for the second month in a row.
b)Learning that the 150th job application you sent in for a position opening didn't make it into the candidate pool because you were competing against people with a masters degree and 40 years experience for an entry level administrative assistant job.
c) Going out into nature to calm yourself down and try to forget about your crappy day only to get a HUGE clump of sap in your hair...you know the kind that doesn't wash out?
d) All of the above happening on the same day.

If you answered "d" than you are today's winner! Congratulations, your prize is a getting laid off and evicted from the home you've lived in for 60 years! Yay!

The best part about all of this is that the health insurance I had for 6 months, which I qualified for in last December required that I apply for unemployment (which they never required me to do before) in order to reapply (participants have to reapply every 6 months). Even after I explained to them that I did not want to because the system was already overburdened and I was making ends meet with my part time job, they said I would be disqualified if I did not. I tossed and turned for over a month, really resenting the fact that in order to have health care I was being forced to apply for unneeded unemployment...when I had a job! Then when I finally caved and applied for unemployment the state decides my $902.48 take home monthly income is just too lavish and I don't qualify. So now I get the joys of calling up unemployment (who are harder to get on the phone than the IRS during tax season) and ask them to cancel my claim.

On top of that...I can still smell the sap in my hair.