Get The FUCK Out Of My Car!

I sold my beloved Honda Civic. It was my first car ever and I had it for nearly 10 years and it was 16 years old. It got 30 miles to the gallon and was loyal beyond compare. But, as 16 year old cars tend to do, it began needing more and more repairs and I needed to make the decision on where to invest my money- repairing and old car, or buying a new one. In the end my trusty Red Sled (my name for the Civic) went to a terrific family that would love it and actually wanted and need it. So I feel good...But my experience selling my car, was not without its, ahem, shall we say adventure...

Some pointers to potential car buyers...

If you respond to an ad selling a 5-speed manual transmission vehicle, perhaps it is best if you can actually drive a stick. And that one time you were going to drive down the cul-de-sac in your friends car but killed it before you got out of the driveway doesn't count. I mean you need to actually be able to:

• Know when the engine is running high because you have it in 3rd gear going 50mph
• Know you must push in the clutch to start the car
• Not kill the car...twice in a three minute test drive
• Not rev the engine so hard when initially starting to move in first...each and every time you're in first
• Knowing the difference between the foot brace on the floor to the left and the actual clutch pedal...
  

I should also suggest that you know how to drive a car period. Be sure you can accomplish the simple things such as:

• Knowing how to turn the car on (i.e. you must turn the key from lock, to on, to acc, and then to start). If you turn the key to acc and think that will start the car, you are going to be there for a while
• Knowing the difference between the footbrace on the floor to the left and the actual clutch pedal... yes I know I said it above, but really? Seriously, you can't tell the difference between a unmoving hunk of plastic and a depressable clutch pedal...? Really?
• Knowing you shouldn't turn left onto a road and them pull an immediate u-turn in front of a HUGE POLICE suv that is turning left behind you, nearly getting the car t-boned and pissing off the cop.

And on a final note, if you want a seller to select you as the buyer, don't be an idiot. This means:

• Do not try to pressure the seller into selling it to you after they already politely told you that they have another person test driving the car later that evening. And no, getting into a staring contest with the seller will not increase your chances of purchasing the vehicle.

Now that I have imparted this great wisdom on you dear readers, go forth and practice non-douchbagish car buying behavior. :-)