I haven't written in a while, as I am sure all 2 of my readers have noticed (where did you go Germany?) because I have been on vacation! I had a blast saw family, went camping, and ended by going to Disneyland! Yay!
Now, for anyone who may be familiar with Disneyland I am going to assume that you are also familiar with the Pineapple Dole Whips that are there (if you have been to Disneyland and don't know what I am talking about that is blasphemy!). Now I was with a friend waiting our turn to go into the Tikki Room (that smooth talking Jose parrot is so dashing, don't you think?) when we saw a sight that forever tainted our future Dole Whip experiences... *reader beware, you are going to need brain bleach after reading this post*
So we are sitting there minding our own business just enjoying the opportunity to sit down and rest. I am a big fan of being pale (and consequently, wide brimmed hats) and was blissfully unaware of anything above waste level since the brim of my hat blocked everything else above that. Suddenly, my friend poked her head under my hat sanctuary and said in a hushed tone, "Oh my god, look at the lady next to you!"
I look over and see her from the knees down and shrug my shoulders, she was an extremely large woman who had dressed herself in a skin-tight turquoise tube top dress but other than that I didn't understand what I should be looking for. "Ok... What am I suppose to be looking at?"
My friend takes my head and turns it to the perfect angle, just in time for me to see the woman poke her tongue (in a grotesque fashion that made me think of a stereotypically bad porn movie) into the center hole of her Dole Whip and pull out the delicious ice creamy goodness in a manner that should have been x-rated. With a spoon resting unused in her hand, she continued her bile-inducing food trance as she molested the poor unsuspecting Dole Whip.
My friend and I both averted our eyes in horror, scarred forever with the image that had been seared into our brains. We didn't eat another Dole Whip during that entire trip...
So the moral of this story... no one, no matter how happy your food makes you, wants to see you molest the unsuspecting sustenance.
