Sooooo, it doesn't take a genius to know that living in your parent's basement, spending all your time at school or a free clinic (as a volunteer- get your mind out of the gutter!), and working at a non-profit that doesn't even have money to pay you (seriously, still holding my paychecks- that's right people, that's plural) doesn't bode well for my, ahem...we'll call it my "personal" life. The point of my mentioning of this is to highlight the fact that I would probably sleep with the cute (but really dumb) baristo boy at the cafe I go to every morning if he gave me a wink and an extra shot of vanilla in my hot cocoa at no extra charge.
Why is this important you ask? Well, just keep this in mind as you read this little story.
Anyhoo, back to my grand adventure. While out at a local coffee shop last week, a good looking guy asked me out and I figured what the hell, at the very least I could count it as my new thing for the week. Knowing that I was attracted to him, I figured he was the broke artist type (since I am apparently attracted to nothing else) and suggested coffee as our first outing. I always try to be considerate of the fact that I am attracted to broke individuals and therefore choose a cheap date...well apparently, I was with the cheapest-skate of them all!
Upon ordering my $1.69 12oz hot cocoa (I kid you not, I even ordered the smallest size there!) he informed the barista that our orders would be separate! Oh my freaking god! Are you kidding me?! Did you seriously just ask me out then have me pay for my $1.69 hot cocoa?! I entertained the thought of slugging him in the head with my rather heavy mug but thought better of it...I like that coffee house and I would be sad if they asked me not to come back because I had accosted a customer, even if he was a cheapskate. Turning to pay for the extravagant $1.69 and I could see the barista was just as outraged and disgusted as I was, which made me feel better.
I decided to give him the benefit of a doubt- maybe he had just lost everything in a house fire (see people, this is the thought process that gets me in trouble every-freaking-time!)- and sat with him for about 15 minutes. The entire time I didn't utter a word, not even a grunt of approval or a mutterance (yes, I made up a word) of interest. Nothing. But Mr. Cheap-o didn't seem to notice, he chatted on about how he worked at the local computer company (it is a HUGE, widely distributed/used corporation...i.e. there was no reason for him to be Mr. Cheap-o) and as far as I could tell, he was completely self absorbed. 15 minutes was all I could take until I finally excused myself and took my $1.69 hot cocoa back to the car.
This experience has taught me one thing- I am over dating poor starving artists (I don't care if they can change a tire or not, they probably don't have the gas money or car to drive to where I am stranded anyway- true story by the way...). It's not like I am looking to get married anyway so why not have a casual relationship with one of these rich guys I am being set up with? Hell, at least he will pay for the $1.69 hot cocoa...Then again, on second thought, who the hell am I trying to kid? The first time some broke construction worker crosses my path this smart plan will go right out the window and I will be back to my old ways *cue devilish smile*.
