Hello my online minions! I know it's been a while since I last blogged...what can I say, life has been busy to say the least. But never fear I am back...for now.
So, I will admit right here and now that I like workout videos. I have The Firm, Taebo, and my latest and greates, The Brazilian Butt Lift. If you aren't familiar with BBL all you need to know is that for $80 you too can have 7 workout videos with the personal trainer of a Victoria's Secret Angel. Like all workout videos, he guarantees that my body is just going to transform by the end of it all. Now I should break here and admit that my body is pretty alright all on it's own (combo of good genes-thanks mom!, good jeans, and working out) so there is never going to be this 150lb weight loss story for me. But still, who doesn't want a perkier ass?
So I ordered the videos and read the recommended schedule and eating guide that came with it. Lets just say following that guide lasted about 2 days... And amazingly my ass did not transform itself into a VS Angel ass in that time. Damn. I am out $80 and stuck with my same old ass. I know it seems silly, but just openning the videos I could feel my ass get tighter and lift. As if a new ass literally comes in every box... Sigh, if only.
You see, the lack of dedication came in when I noticed chocolate and carbs weren't in the plan. Since those two things make up 80% of my spiritual experience (the other 20% is shoes) I knew I was doomed. Who wants to give up garlic bread? Pasta? Double fudge brownie ice cream? It would be like someone telling me I had to wear ugly brown man-sandals with socks for 3 months. No way. Ain't going to happen. No amount of perkie assness will be able to make that ok (the brown sandals/sock or the lack of chocolate and carbs. Both are just wrong).
But the purchase wasn't an entire waste. I still use a few of the workouts... Or at least parts of them. I can usually be found munching on a fudge brownie during the parts of the workout I don't use... But hey, dont I get some points for sticking around and watching those parts at least?
